I cook clean yell at kids work clean repeat & I AM ALL ABOUT EFFICIENCY
So a couple months ago, I’ve been missing for awhile and it is because I was pregnant and was tired most of the time. I was due in November and other than the chronic fatigue, my first trimester was pretty uneventful. Then came the second trimester and other than the gestational diabetes, I was relatively healthy. No placenta previa, high placena, long cervix. Then before my third trimester begins, which is around now, out comes baby.
It all started with contractions on Monday evening. Being less than 28 weeks, I did not think that it was contractions and thought I was really constipated. Thought I had food poisoning and if I crapped everything out, the stomach ache would be gone. Bad idea. I almost had the baby at home. I went to sleep and woke up several times that night with the pains. The next morning I went to the hospital for a gestational diabetes clinic (after I told work ‘I’ll be back by lunch!’) and somehow the doctor could see something was wrong (my contractions was about 5 minutes apart by then) and sent me to the Delivery and Labour room which luckily was just next door.
Within 10 minutes of being assessed, I was told I was having a baby. A 28 weeker.
I lost my shit.
I didn’t know the survival rate for a very premature baby and as they were prepping my IV, the nurse was trying to be informative and telling me what the purpose of everything they are pumping into me is for. Steroids. Help develop baby’s lungs. Magnesium. Decrease brain damage. And so forth. I tried my best to convince the delivery staff that I was not having a baby that day and tried to suck up the contractions.
Reality hits harder when the doctor said ‘You have no cervix left’ and my husband could see the head.
Within 30 seconds, she was out and the NICU team whisked her away. Relief set in as I heard her cry. 2 pounds plus a bit.
This all happened really quickly that morning and although we are relieved that she is well, this is also when we have to deal with the risks of having a premature baby. Blindness. Cerebral Palsy. Deafness. Brain Hemorrhage. We are trying to take it day by day and not to worry too much. I have a bad habit of reading medical journals online and only digesting the unfavourable statistics.
Although my OB assured me that it was nothing I did, as a mother, I felt like I didn’t do enough to protect my daughter while she was in me. I’ll always wonder if I was too stressed, walked too much, ate something bad, etc. Most mothers in NICU already had issues that placed them as high risk but my delivery was considered spontaneous. What did I do? I guess if it’s that easy to pinpoint what causes premature deliveries, there wouldn’t be any premature babies.