May Contain Nuts

I cook clean yell at kids work clean repeat & I AM ALL ABOUT EFFICIENCY

Hallowe’en Grinch

I grew up and still living in East Vancouver.  The neighbourhood I called home for over 30 years has a crack house and halfway house on my block.  Tons of Viet restos, and masage parlours still open at 11pm.  Home invasions on Oct 31 are not unheard of and this is one of the reasons why the last time we turned on the lights to pass out candies were a few years back.  This year I didn’t want to become one of the cheap chinese on my block so I decided to get some candies for passing.

When I came home with bags of sour gummies (maynards and allans) and Kerrs lollipops, E’s reaction was ‘We’re not on welfare’.  He grew up in West Side Marpole and never had what I bought as candies.  His neighbourhood passed out full size chocolate bars while I grew up eating Nerds, Rocket pops and Tootsie rolls.  He returned the lollipops and got halloween size chocolates.

We got into our costumes and turned on the lights at 5pm but kids didn’t start showing up until 6pm.  I made a rule to give one chocolate bar with 3 mini gummies.  I thought that was pretty generous. From 6pm – 7pm, it was all toddlers and babies.  Everyone that came all said Thank you…

Then 7pm hit and the older age group starts showing up.  Not that I’m being racist, but it is what it is.  The minorities like Chinese and East Indians that came, were older and did not dress up at all.  It’s like the parents go ‘We’re done with dinner, let’s go out and collect free candies’.  One particular group of 4 asian teen boys came.  You know the ones that wear wife beaters, a faux hark with a cigarette tucked behind their ear?  Yeah, those ones.  My first reaction was ‘What are you guys?’  They said they are each other.  I wanted to clarify whether they are dressed as douchebags but I didn’t want my house egged that night.  I already had in my hand a serving of candies but rather than giving each of them a handful, I made it a point that each of them gets ONE gummy. Oh, they didn’t even bother carrying a halloween themed bag, but an empty gym bag.  It was completely empty so I figure they probably live just a few houses away.  They saw that I had chocolates in my basket but they know better not to shit about it or else I would rip into them.

I kept the lights on until I run out of the gummies and since most of the older kids were not dressed, I knew I would have plenty of choco left (which pleases E).  Less than half of them said thank yous.

I turned off the lights at 8pm and when our friends were leaving at 9pm, we turned on the lights as they head off and said our good byes.  Like zombies smelling fresh flesh, we see groups from across, left and right rushing towards our house.  E yelled out ‘Sorry, we ran out of candies’ to the group that made it to our gate in record time.  I recognized them as the group that came an hour before.

I really want to be in the giving mood but thanks to the greedy jerks in our area, it’s hard to be giving into the halloween spirit.  E’s solution is to turn off the lights early next year.


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This entry was posted on October 31, 2011 by in What Grinds My Gears and tagged , .


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